I found that, I have been trying to lend some of my books, regarding to his current level of education, to him under my own initiative. Although, he said, he will borrow them from for a later time, but I truely sensed that he does not really wants it. Upon that, I felt quite embarrassed for my action done.
Sometimes, I stuck neutrally at my own thoughts whether what I am doing is it really right for him? I only wish to help him, because he did told me that, he has a hard time catching up the syllabus, to be learnt, in school.
This afternoon, I took the initiative to request for a day in a week to conduct somehow a English study group, whereby both of us share about we learnt in school through English conversation. He replied, wait till I moved my house, then we decide. Again, this sentence tells me a lot of inner meanings.
Now, I have decided not to take any initiative to request for any lending of books or conducting any study group in future. I found myself too “extra” for those action and I felt hurt and embarrased too.
Cranken Roj
